Thursday, December 9, 2010

Bah Humbug!


I'm sure by now you're all tired of hearing me talk about how much I lurve Christmas. If you are, then you'll want to stick around and read this post because things are about to go down.

Up until this year I've always loved Christmas music. I usually start listening to it as soon as Halloween is over, whether the weather outside is frightful or not. This year, like the ones before it, I started listening to Christmas music both online and through my iTunes playlist around the first week of November. However, things seemed different. I noticed myself changing the station or switching playlists. *gasp* "What is wrong with you? Why are you being such a Scrooge?" I kept asking myself. I then noticed I wasn't doing it randomly, I was doing it when certain songs came on. I always thought myself a lover of all Christmas songs, but apparently I am not. So, for your entertainment, I've put together a list of my most hated Christmas songs in with links to youtube videos if you haven't heard them before.

My Top 5 Most Hated Christmas Songs


5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by the Jackson 5
-I think part of the reason I never liked this song is because, until recently, I didn't get it. So, you saw your mommy kissing Santa, hu kid? Well that's just weird, why would your mom be having an affair with Santa? What are you, Santa's offspring? Oh, you mean Santa was the kid's dad? Oh! Right, right. Well if the kid's dad dressed up as Santa to bring presents to the kids, why was he all sneaky about it? I mean, if someone's going to dress as Santa, the whole point is to let the kids see Santa and know he's real. In this song the kid makes it clear he shouldn't have seen Santa at all. Plus let's be honest, baby Michael Jackson's voice is pretty hard to stomach after a while.


4. The Little Drummer Boy by Everyone
-This is my husband's least favorite Christmas song. It's funny because pretty much every time he gets home or we get in the car to go somewhere this song comes on. I never minded it too much until I stopped and understood the song a little. "Ok, so baby Jesus was just born, right? Meaning he's still an infant. I want to go see baby Jesus, but I don't want to be a creeper about it. I don't have any money to bring gifts like the wise men are doing, so what can I do? Oh! I'll play my drum for him and his new family! Infants love loud, obnoxious noises, right?" I can tell you one thing, if I were Mary I'd be more than a little t.o.'d at Mr. Drummer Boy waltzing into my manger and banging on his bongos for my infant that I just got to sleep.

3. The Christmas Shoes by New Song
-I'll admit that when this song first came out a few years back I didn't mind it, may have even liked it a little. But after hearing the song constantly for the past five years or so, and after a book and made for TV movie, I am sick to death of it. As my friend Laura on Facebook said, "Yet another example of how a writer's bittersweet, sentimental, and tender words and thoughts get SHOVED into the media marketing frenzy due to popularity and then become used as a sad attempt to manipulate people's emotions for profit." I couldn't have put it better myself. Also, the part at the end when the chorus of kids join in makes me want to stab my eyeballs out using my big toe.

2. Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg
-I understand the point of the song, it talks about lost love, living in the past, etc. What I don't understand is why it's a Christmas song. The only reference it makes to Christmas is at the beginning when they briefly mention that it's Christmas Eve. Yes, there's an Old Lang Syne instrumental part at the end, but I just don't get it. In my family we call it, "The Drinking Song" because it seems like all the characters in the song do is drink. This song is over five minutes long, and I don't think it should be over four.

1. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer by Elmo and Patsy
-I had someone tell me the other day, "What, you don't like Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer? Aren't you from Mississippi?" What the flip does being from Mississippi have to do with liking this song? What, are we all rednecks? Do we all look the same to you? I have many problems with this song. First- it's played too much, I hear it way too often. Second- How stereotypical can you get? This song is so country and redneck it even gives this Mississippi girl the heebbyjebbies. Also, "Grandmaw got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house Christmas Eve..." Why in the WORLD is Grandmaw walking home by herself? It's dark out and probably cold and depending on where you live, probably icy or snowy. At best Grandmaw's going to fall and break a hip. At worst, she'll get run over by a reindeer.

7 comments:

  1. Haha! Your descriptions made me laugh. I totally agree with you fro the most part (I still love me some Drummer Boy).
    I have to turn off The Christmas Shoes every time it comes on because it depresses me. Christmas songs are supposed to be happy, darn it! I don't want to be weeping!

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  2. LOL These songs are so annoying and I don't understand how they're played over and over again. I turn the radio off every time they come on.

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  3. LOL!! LOVED your post! Read it to the whole family and we all agreed with you!! Merry HUMBUG Christmas!! :D

    PS And the drinking song, shouldn't be over 2 minutes. Actually, if they skipped a decade of playing it, I wouldn't miss it.

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  4. I must agree with you, all but one of those are atrocious songs! There is a version of The Little Drummer boy that I love though. I can't remember who does it but it's haunting and completely unlike a Christmas song.

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  5. Leroy the Redneck Reindeer is a staple in my house. The kids love it.

    I have a funny story about my husband and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" - he was like 4 or 5 and his mother sang that song to him. Well that didn't go over well and Shug went into a meltdown and made his mother take him back to his grandma's so he could make sure she was ok. He still doesn't like the song.

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  6. I hate The Christmas Shoes as well. It is an evil song.

    I don't mind the Drummer Boy song as long as it's actually sung by a male. I hate it when a female sings it. I know that's sexist but the song is called Little Drummer BOY for a reason!

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